


Parenting Wars

by GayGothicFanboy



Category: Night at the Museum (Movies)
Genre: Competition, F/F, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:33:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25965169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GayGothicFanboy/pseuds/GayGothicFanboy
Summary: Larry tries to show the exhibits that parenting isn't as easy as they think it is. But Jed and Octavius challenge Amelia and Wea to a competition to see who would be better parents.
Relationships: Amelia Earhart/Sacajawea (Night at the Museum), Jedediah/Octavius (Night at the Museum)
Kudos: 15





	1. 1. Let the best parents win

"But, Larry, why can't you just control Nick?" Octavius asked.

"Control Nick? Octavius do you know how that sounds?" Larry huffed.

"It shouldn't be that hard to do it, Mister Daley," Amelia commented.

Octavius nodded in agreement.

Jed said, "Yeah, what she said!"

Larry said, "You know what? If you guys think it's so easy to be a parent, how about you show me?"

Jed looked puzzled. "And how do we do that, gigantor?"

Larry smiled. "I'll bring in some eggs and that'll show you guys that parenting isn't easy."

Jed smiled. "You're on, Laredo!"

Octavius smiled. "Maybe we shall compete. Jed and I versus you, Amelia."

Amelia huffed. "Hey! That's not fair! There's two of you and only one of me!"

Jed told her, "Well, it's not like you have anyone to help you."

Amelia then smiled. "Wea, darling!" She called out.

Amelia's girlfriend, Sacagawea, stepped into view, approaching them. "Yeah?"

Amelia told her, "You're going to help me prove to Mister Daley that parenting isn't as hard as he makes it out to be."

"Okay," Wea said.

Octavius asked, "So it's us versus you two?"

Both Amelia and Wea nodded.

Jed smirked. "Then let the best parents win."


	2. 2. Oops

"Y'know Octy, it isn't fair," Jed began.

Octavius glanced at his boyfriend. "What do you mean?"

"Amelia's got Wea," Jed commented.

"So?" Octavius eyed Jed.

"Wea actually WAS a parent," Jed began. "So, I find it unfair."

Octavius chuckled. "But she wasn't a good one."

Jed's eyes grew wide. "Wow. Roasted!" A pause. "So, there's still hope for us, Octy?"

Octavius nodded. "Yeah. And now come over here." He sat patting the doll bed that Larry had given them.

-

Tonight was the night.

Larry was going to give them their "kids".

And Jed was as nervous as ever.

He thought to himself, _it's alright._

_You are gonna do fine._

"Hey, guys. Are you ready?" Larry asked, holding a carton of eggs.

Octavius, who wheeled out a tiny cart behind him nodded.

Larry kneeled passing an egg down to Jed and Octavius.

Together, they put it in the cart.

Larry stood, handing Wea and Amelia their egg.

But as soon as Wea took a hold of the egg, it slipped from her hand and onto the ground, cracking.

"Wea, you numb-skull!" Amelia shouted.

"I'm sorry!" Wea said.

Jed chuckled. "I guess I know who won now."

Amelia kicked the cart, which flipped it over and broke the egg. "Oops."

Octavius yelled, "Hey!"

Larry sighed. "At least I still have more eggs." He gave one to Jed and Octavius and then another to Wea and Amelia.

Amelia took the egg this time. "I'll take it this time." She held the egg carefully. "Because you'll break it."

Sacagawea narrowed her eyes. "What's that supposed to mean!"

Amelia and Wea continued to bicker.

Jed and Octavius then parted their ways from the group.

And the only thought on Jed's mind was, _we have to win._

  
  



	3. 3. The winner

"There's no way in hell we're gonna win, Octy," Jed said, dryly.

Octavius glanced at Jed. "You don't know that, my dear."

Jed huffed. "Yes, I do! Do you see how protective Amelia is over that egg? We're gonna loose!"

Octavius put his hands on his boyfriend's shoulders. "Get ahold of yourself, Jedediah! We can still win this!"

Jed took a deep breath. "You're right. We can."

-

A week.

That's how far they were into the competition.

Octavius were very protective of the egg.

Octavius would be damned if he let Amelia win.

Amelia glanced at her girlfriend. "Wea?"

"Yeah?" Wea turned to face Amelia.

"I have to do something." A pause, followed by a deep breath. "Can I trust you to keep an eye on the egg while I'm gone?"

Sacagawea smiled, nodding. "Yes. You can count on me."

Amelia slightly smiled, handed the egg to Wea, planted a kiss on Wea's cheek and then stalked off.

"Come on. You can't let her down," Sacagawea mumbled under her breath.

That's when Laaa approached Wea. "Laaa hold?"

"No, Laaa. You can't hold it," Wea said.

Laaa then started crying.

Sacagawea bit her lip. "Fine. Laaa, you can hold it." She held the egg out.

Laaa took in one hand and tossed in the air.

The egg hit the ground with a splat.

Laaa laughed.

That's right when Amelia walked back. "What the hell!" She yelled.

Sacagawea swallowed as she turned around. "Hey, baby…So, you see something happened and I-"

"Shut up," Amelia growled.

Wea swallowed once again.

Amelia glanced at the egg's remains on the ground and then back to her girlfriend. "I'm revoking that kiss."

"You can't. You already have it to me," Wea stated.

Amelia sighed. "Damn you."

Jed glanced from the two girls and back to Octavius. "We did it, Octy! We won!"

Octavius wore the biggest grin.

Then, Jed and Octavius did a celebratory dance.

Jed accidently tripped backwards, and knocked the cart over which caused the egg to crack.

Octavius glanced at the cracked egg in disbelief. "Jedediah! You killed our child!"

"So?"

"So? What? You just murdered him!" Octavius yelled and began to chastise Jed.

Amelia and Sacagawea watched, chuckling.

Amelia asked, "Would you ever want one?"

"Want what?" Sacagawea glanced toward her girlfriend.

"A child...with me," Amelia said.

"No," Sacagawea told her.

Amelia huffed, with a fake smile. "That's fine." A pause. "Shall we congratulate Jed and Octavius for winning?"

Sacagawea nodded. "We shall."


End file.
